As I unfortunately see more and more marriages failing, I
feel the need to offer up some advice to those men new to the dating
scene. Okay, maybe not just the men new
to the dating scene, but to men in general who are now on the prowl like some
creepy perv. I offered up some advice to
a gentleman I was dating several years ago.
He was being a pompous ass, so I shit canned him while offering that
advice. Those words influenced him so much, that he contacted me two years
later, asked me to meet him at the airport in an hour, and flew me to the most
groundbreaking date ever.
I am a big believer
in lessons. Everyone you meet in life
has a purpose for your paths crossing. I
was a quite bitter person immediately following my horrific divorce. Don’t believe me? Go back and read my past blogs. Yeah.
Now you get it.
Dr. Poor Timing (name has been changed to protect him) just
happened to enter my life at that time.
He took an ass whooping for it.
Nevertheless, it all worked out.
When he contacted me several months back, things were different. Our conversations the night we broke up
heavily influenced both of us, and changed our perspective on dating. Following his culture, Dr. Poor Timing was
arranged to be married (and has since tied the noose – er, I mean, knot). I wish him all the best.
So guys, here is a lesson if you think you’re ready to
date an independent woman with her shit together. There are not many of us. We are like unicorns. We are magical. When you find us, we will treat you like a
king, but if you disrespect us, your shit will be on the curb faster than you
can say, “I’m sorry.”
·
We have been through a lot in past
relationships. Everyone has. Just like it shaped you, it shaped us. Some people remain victims of their
past. Strong women become survivors of
it. We go into everything we do (not
just relationships) guarded. That’s
because we've worked too god damned hard to get where we are independently, to
have some cock knuckle destroy it. Don’t
expect us to just open right up to you and trust you anytime soon. That “innocent until proven guilty” bullshit
may fly in the court of law, but in the game of life, you’re fucking guilty as
hell until you prove otherwise, bitches.
·
Just like everything else we do, strong women do
everything with passion. We don’t half
ass anything. We will love you and go to
the ends of the earth to see you happy.
We expect that in return. If you
can’t reciprocate, you may as well go buy yourself a hooker. And a chef.
And a maid. And a secretary. Yes.
It does take four women to replace that one amazing one you just watched
walk out of your life. Perhaps you should
reconsider being a prick, you douche canoe.
·
Strong women are highly educated
professionals. We did not get where we
are by sleeping our way to the top (contrary to what your coworkers think). We
believe in bettering ourselves and helping those around us do the same. We bust our asses daily. Again, everything we do, we do with
passion. We are established. Our cars are paid off. Our mortgage/rent is current. Our bills are paid. Our money is invested wisely. Again, I reiterate, WE ARE EDUCATED. We work way too hard for our money to be stupid
with it. That being said, we believe in
working hard, playing harder. While we
invest, we also like to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Unless you’re our accountant, or we are
married and sharing a bank account (which is NEVER going to happen), we don’t
need you monitoring our finances. You
may have had to do that with your past bitches, but you can rest assured, we
aren’t taking your money. We don’t
fucking need it. We are with you because
we enjoy our time with you and genuinely care for you. Not because we are some 22 year old looking
for a sugar daddy. That ship sailed a
long time ago, honey. Certainly, we will
buy you gifts and spoil you. Don’t worry
about where the cash flow is coming from.
What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is yours. So shut the fuck up and let us shop, take
trips, and keep our appearances up.
·
Strong women believe in each other. We support each other by building up those
surrounding us. We compliment each
other, say positive things to one another, and offer encouragement in times of
need. We expect the same from the men in
our company. We will always tell you how nice you look, or commend you for a
job well done professionally. We will
tell you how proud we are. If you can’t
be nice, get away from us. It is a great
to hear how beautiful we are. We don’t
always feel our best. But sometimes,
just a simple word of encouragement can improve our entire day. Basically, don’t be a dick. Compliment your lady, and be sincere about
it. If you can’t be sincere with your
compliments, leave.
·
Take us out and show us off. Let us know that you’re proud to be seen with
us in public. Show us that we are
special. Show us you care. Slip your arm around our waist. Hold our hand. These are simple gestures that speak
volumes. Not comfortable with it? Oh well, there are plenty of other guys out
there that are…On to the next.
·
Understand that we are independent and can do almost
anything on our own. Sure, we would love
your help. Just don’t think that we NEED
your help. What we do need, however, is
for you to show compassion. If you see
your lady struggling to do something, kiss her on the forehead and give her a
hand. Don’t just sit there and watch her
struggle while laughing, like a dick bag.
·
Don’t expect us to drop everything and come
running every time you want to hang out.
We have friends. We have a
life. You should too. We understand that you guys need “boy time”
to smell each other’s farts and talk about guy stuff. Those friends have seen us through some
pretty horrific stuff, and to assume that your partner is going to consume
every waking moment and take time away from those lovely friends, well, you’re
an asshole. Strong women are loyal - in
ALL of their relationships. We will be
loyal to you. We will always be loyal to
our friends. As should you.
Well,
guys. That sums it all up. The reason all the good magical women are
still single. We will love you like no
other has ever loved you, and we are so worth the effort. Just don’t be a dick. That’s all.
